From Toxicity to Triumph: Leading with Compassion and Ownership
Toxic management and leadership behaviors are far too common in today's workplace. They can negatively impact team morale, engagement, and the overall job culture. A recent Gallup poll performed in May of 2024 showed that 42% of employees reported that management could have done something to prevent them from resigning. This indicates that the "bosses" have a massive influence on not only the retention of the employees but also their overall contentedness and well-being in the workplace. As John Maxwell eloquently puts it: "Everything rises and falls on leadership," and poor leadership is one of the most significant causes of workplace stress, turnover, and productivity. I want to discuss some common toxic behaviors such as micro-management, withholding information, playing favorites, and other practices that undermine trust, stifle creativity, and spike discontent. As a witness to these effects firsthand, I urge leaders committed to fostering high-performing teams and a healthy work environment to embrace the ideas of compassion and ownership within the framework of your leadership compass.
Empowering the Team
Leadership is about empowering people you work with, not exerting control over them. The ultimate goal of a leader is to create a team where the leader is no longer necessary. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, a good leader makes their intentions, goals, and objectives clear in such a manner that allows the employees to confidently make decisions that align with those goals without even needing to consult the leader. A good leader should always strive to be working themselves out of a job and always train their replacement. A true leader's job is to take people up and beyond their own abilities. Leaders should focus on understanding and meeting the needs of their team members, helping them grow, and providing the tools and resources necessary for their success. This approach contrasts with toxic management behaviors like micro-management and lack of transparency. Both of these things are done because the leader's ego is preventing them from creating a high functioning team.
Micromanaging vs. Empowering: Micromanaging a team or being a helicopter boss will breed fear and distrust within the team. It is the ultimate display that the leader does not trust their team and must be a part of every single decision or action. It shows a sense of distrust in the team's ability to make decisions and execute plans. Micromanagement will create a team that will fail to take initiative, lack autonomy, and have almost no creativity. Good leaders trust their team to handle tasks independently, offering guidance and support when needed. This involves setting clear expectations, providing necessary resources, and being available for questions. Micromanagement is required in certain circumstances, such as training and ensuring a new team member can be trusted properly with constructive follow-ups, but this should always be temporary. Empowering the team encourages autonomy and fosters a sense of ownership. As with all things, there must be a balance here, as being too hands-off can create a team with too much autonomy, which results in veering off the path of the primary goal.
Withholding Information vs. Transparency: Leaders should understand the value of transparency and how it helps the team understand problems, develop trust with the leader, and allow the team to provide feedback. Withholding information accomplishes nothing, breeds mistrust and confusion, and can easily create a combative relationship between the leader and the team. Clear, open, and transparent communication aligns everyone with the team's overall goals and strategies and any obstacles hindering their ability to accomplish them. Providing the 'why' behind decisions helps teams understand the decisions, stay engaged and motivated, and prevent misaligned goals or the failure to understand the leader's motives. Transparency also has the added benefit of avoiding gossip and theories from spreading that could spread confusion and, as I have personally witnessed, anger or frustration towards the leader who was not being transparent with certain decision practices, leading to employees assuming the worst.
Humans are not a Resource: Employees are individuals with unique talents, dreams, hardships, and backgrounds, not just resources to be managed. To lead compassionately, you must connect with your team, understand their values and personal and professional goals, provide growth opportunities, and acknowledge their efforts. Helping your team achieve their personal and professional goals will breed trust, respect, and influence and add value to the team members you are mentoring. Recognizing and understanding each individual fosters a culture of appreciation, reducing burnout and turnover. It's important to keep in mind that all things a leader should do should ultimately help and add value to those around them. It promotes connection, collaboration, and a stronger team dynamic.
Taking Responsibility
Leaders who take responsibility for everything in their realm of influence, from team performance to communication breakdowns, will always garner more respect from the team than those who cast blame, point fingers, or make excuses. This mindset eliminates excuses and finger-pointing and makes the leader a glowing example of owning the team's failures. This will cascade to foster accountability at all levels of an organization.
Position vs. Permission: Toxic leaders often rely on their title or position to command respect. In reality, these are not leaders at all. True leadership requires a level of permission from those being led. Suppose a leader has to pull rank, threaten disciplinary actions, or use other negative reinforcement tactics. In that case, the true leader in that dynamic is fear. True leadership is about gaining permission. Leaders must guide their team toward success, regardless of rank or title. They lead by example, inspire action, and take accountability for failures without pointing fingers or making excuses. Gaining the permission of those you lead requires some level of competence in performing the basic job duties needed for the rest of the team, connecting with the team, and understanding the team's desires. In essence, true leadership is not about the authority of your position but about the influence you gain through your actions and understanding of your team.
Playing Favorites vs. Fairness and Integrity: When I worked as a Correctional Officer, we often repeated a certain phrase: Always be "Fair, Firm, and Consistent." This concept prevented undue stress, eliminated unknown variables, and set clear boundaries with all the inmates. Favoritism is, effectively, the complete opposite of this idea. Playing favorites causes division, lowers team morale and trust, and can lead to stress for team members who feel left out. Leaders must ensure that they make decisions and give recognition fairly and consistently. Doing this will create a consistent environment and culture where every team member can contribute and develop equally.
Dividing vs. Unifying: Leaders who divide the team to exert control undermine team unity. Leaders can accomplish this in many ways, and playing favorites is one of them. Other ways include being tyrannical in their leading style or singling out a specific individual to have them removed. Instead, leaders should focus on building collaboration and trust within their teams. This could involve fostering a culture of open communication, encouraging teamwork, and recognizing individual and collective achievements. A united team is more effective, cohesive, and resilient, whereas division fosters unhealthy competition and resentment.
The Role of Availability
One of the damaging behaviors a leader can exhibit is being unavailable to their team. When leaders are inaccessible, it not only signals a lack of support, care, and engagement but also conveys an attitude of apathy toward the team. Leaders should stress the importance of their presence; being available to guide, mentor, and support the team is not just a duty but a necessity for the team's success.
Being Available: An effective leader prioritizes being accessible to their team, practicing active listening, and providing meaningful support. Leaders who consistently demonstrate their presence build trust and cultivate an environment where concerns can be promptly addressed, resulting in increased job satisfaction and higher levels of engagement. This availability must be balanced, as developing a functioning team is the primary role of a leader. The team should not reach out to the leader to have every decision made, as this is a sign of too much micromanagement.
Engage With the Team: Leaders are responsible for actively engaging with their team. Instead of waiting for their team to come to them (like the antiquated open-door policy), leaders should seek opportunities to connect with their team members regularly. By doing this, leaders can gain valuable insights into the individuals who make up their team, identify and address potential issues early on, and build their influence.
Paving a Path Forward
Addressing toxic management behaviors requires leaders to prioritize compassionate leadership, take ownership of successes and failures, focus on adding value to their team, and foster a culture of trust. This approach creates an environment where creativity and productivity can thrive. Leaders can eliminate toxic practices and encourage accountability, collaboration, and empowerment by taking responsibility for their environment. We all need to remember that no one is perfect, and If we make a mistake as a leader, it is important to admit those mistakes and take measures to prevent them from happening again. While it sometimes may feel that admitting errors will cause the team to lose confidence, it will help to breed a more open and honest environment where everyone is comfortable in making mistakes and working to fix them, and that is the most important thing.